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Trifextra :: week 100

The first time I saw him, the next day, he was yet to wake. Eyes closed, his face still. I felt his peace, and lay close by. I held his hand, took a breath and slept as well.


Adding 33 single syllable words to the prompt “The first time I saw…” for this week’s Trifextra challenge. This is a first person take on a scene I’ve been working on as part of my Holiday Wordchain. It took a bit of thinking to twist my words into single syllables while keeping the essence of the scene!

  • Erin

    It’s actually quite beautiful…

    January 16, 2014 at 10:37 pm Reply
  • ~ Car ~

    Just beautiful xxx

    January 18, 2014 at 7:27 am Reply
  • Cobbie's World

    I know this is different but, when my daughters were babies and were unable to sleep, one of the techniques I liked to use was to lay down, place my baby on my chest and then, match my breathing to theirs. Once in sync, I would slow my breathing down and relax so that they would feel “my peace”. Sometimes it took awhile but, sooner rather than later, peaceful sleep would come for all. 🙂 I liked your story for how good it was but, also, for the lovely memory you have helped conjure up for me. Thanks. 🙂

    January 19, 2014 at 5:34 am Reply
    • LittleWhiteDove

      Oof. Now I’m a big puddle of mama mush on the floor. I didn’t see it that way until your comment, and now I’m reminiscing about doing the same for my now five year old. Thanks fir stopping by, I’m glad you liked it!

      January 19, 2014 at 11:03 am Reply
  • jannatwrites

    My first thought was that this was Romeo-and-Juliet-like, but then to me, it didn’t feel tragic…I felt peace.

    January 19, 2014 at 7:52 am Reply
    • LittleWhiteDove

      I’m loving everyone’s different interpretations! Definitely not tragic, in this case. Thanks for stopping by 🙂

      January 19, 2014 at 11:04 am Reply
  • Draug419

    This is nice.

    January 20, 2014 at 12:57 am Reply
  • trifectawriting

    I felt myself taking a breath and relaxing too.

    January 20, 2014 at 2:56 pm Reply

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