100 Days :: the half way point

I feel it reflects my attitude towards this year’s 100 Days, that this post has been sitting in my drafts, overdue for posting for at least two weeks. I’ve been avoiding it, because my progress is even more overdue.

Not long after my first post about this year’s project, I made a start on the more tactile portions of the project, marking out a leaf on canvas and then filling in with latch hook. The more I hooked, though, the less I liked the idea, and I let it languish, as I pondered what to do. A plan slowly came to me, but the longer I left it since I last worked on the project, the harder I found it to pick it back up again.

This week, though, I’ve cleaned my desk, and found my journal and the stash of papers I started with. I worked on the new plan over a couple of days so I has something to film for VEDA. I’ve probably got a month of days to catch up on, but maybe late is better than quitting?

There’s a fair bit of self sabotage going on, if I’m being truthful. If I can blame the latch hook not working, I don’t have to make progress. If I’m not making progress, I don’t risk the project not turning out. Finding excuses allows me to stay safe, but to stay small, and that, friends, is the antithesis of my chosen theme for the year – FLOURISH. My goal for this year was to live big, work hard, take chances, grab every moment by the metaphorical horns and not let life happen to me. Letting this project fall apart because of “what ifs”? Not an option. Not very flourishy at all, is it?

And so, I’m giving myself a stern talking to. I’m shaking myself out of my funk, and I’m going to play catch ups in May – two sessions a day on my journal or my artworks, until I’m caught up. June is always a crazy month in our house, so I’m accepting no excuses in May. I have to get caught up before we get busy. This project has been stuck in my head far too long, it’s time to get out of my own way and make it happen.