how Stella got her groove back

For the past three weeks, I’ve opened my blog. I’ve clicked over to the calendar. Opened a draft post.

And then closed the tab.

It’s not writer’s block, per se. I have a bundle of post ideas ready to roll, it’s just…meh. It all feels a bit, I don’t even know what. Maybe after 17 years, I’ve outgrown this space and sharing online? Maybe it’s algorithmic overwhelm? Maybe it’s that overwhelming feeling of screaming into the void? Maybe it’s just that the internet as a whole is not as fun as it was a decade ago? Maybe it’s burn out from VEDA and posting a video every single day for a month?

I will confess, I’ve considered letting the rut take over. Writing one final post and then walking away, leaving this space to fall to the virtual cobwebs. And yet, it’s so hard to walk away completely. Even when no-one is looking, this space has become central to my creative process, and a critical part of my documenting and memory keeping. I love falling down the archives and visiting past me. I think of a project and automatically look to the blog for details. Future me will be thankful of the moments and memories captured in pixels and bits, an archive standing testament to slices of time stolen in pursuit of self care disguised as creativity.

Continuing to blog, to share words writing by human fingers, conjured by a human brain, also feels like an act of resistance. As AI and dead internet seeps into every corner of our online life, it is the original content I seek out more, and by sharing here, I chose to join in the push back.

snippets of creating & other hobbies lately

And so here I am, writing once more. Trying to turn my rut into a groove – not a trap but a comfortable familiar space where one foot in front of the other turns into something less ordinary.